


I Heart Steve

by boombangbing



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 03:06:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/605144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boombangbing/pseuds/boombangbing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Steve go underwear shopping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Heart Steve

**Author's Note:**

> So I posted [this](http://boombangbing.tumblr.com/post/38595914248/so-i-was-shopping-for-underwear-today-you-know-a) to my tumblr today, and it snowballed from there.

Darcy wouldn't exactly say that it's _bribery_ that gets Steve to come into the women's underwear section of Target, it's just an innocent suggestion that chocolate and sex may feature heavily in his near future. She bypasses the frankly R-rated mannequins decked out in barely there bra and panties that Steve looks somewhat alarmed by (if she's being honest, she's pretty alarmed too), and begins her hunt for cheap, plain undies.

There's a wide selection: high cut, bikini cut, boy shorts, thongs, but it's all just... ugh.

"Why would I want 'I heart boys' stamped on my ass?" she says, waving a pair of black and shiny purple undies in front of his face.

"I don't know?" he says, momentarily mesmerised by them. He blinks rapidly when she shoves them back into the rack.

"I wouldn't," she says. "Annnd I also wouldn't want _Hello Kitty on my crotch_ ," she adds, shoving the offending pair down the rail. A lady down the aisle looks disapprovingly at her. Whatever.

"Maybe we should go somewhere else?" Steve suggests in a hopeful tone.

"Maybe," she murmurs, flicking through another dozen pairs. "Just give me one more minute and we'll go chill at Starbucks for a while... Oh, hey," she finishes, and pulls out a new, unadorned polka dot pair. "Look at these, these ones are called 'Steve'."

He reaches out, and carefully looks at the label. "I'm pretty sure that's 'St. Eve'."

Oh, duh, Darcy. She looks at them again and arches an eyebrow.

"Nope," she says, "they're cute and practical and perfect, they are obviously 'Steve'. I'm getting, like, ten pairs."

He flushes an interesting shade of pink and presses his lips together. She sniggers and grabs a handful, then hustles him towards the checkout.

"But only one of me, right?" he murmurs.

"I only need one of you," she says, "at least until cloning's a thing."


End file.
